Chocolate, rocky road, strawberry and vanilla: These are all just ice cream descriptions

I have just joined the auckland BDSM community after more than a few years watching from the periferals. Imagine my pleasure at being able to enjoy the company of the like minded men and women in a social scene that i feel at home in, Put quite simply: i feel an exited joy to be able to talk and ply my trade to those who both understand and have a genuine interest in my thoughts and work. Its fantastic!!!

However i feel myself cringe when i hear some of the jargon that this wonderful subculture has developed. 

This is in no way a critisum of this scene.

VANILLA

Vanilla is a flavor, not a way to critisize anyone for their sexual practices. 

As a piercer i meet many people, and in the intimate setting that the client and i develop as we prepare to perforate his or her skin many clients reveal their own interests and desires.

I have had plenty of BDSM'ers, but just as many other fetishists who follow the same fold as we, but are, perhaps, more private in their chosen 'phillia.

Lovers of rubber who confide that my gloves are items of desire.

Foot fetishists who adore the foot, stark and without adornment or perhaps a little sparkle (like a friend of mine who collects toe rings).

men who love their ladies wearing their chosen confections (Candy on Candy anyone? or cake on Heather?)

my list goes on, including many loves, many "fetishes" many "'phillia" many sexual querks that define a persons sex preference; However the fact remains:

Not everyone who enjoys a fetish enjoys BDSM, not by that name at least, But if you met a man on the street who did not tell you of his desire for erect rubber clad nipples the question remains:

 Would you call him Vanilla? 

Or do you embrace the inherent lean toward the joys of the perverse present in every man and woman alive?

Vanilla is not the man, vanilla is the ice cream.